A Beautifully Synchronous Adoption Story

“For when the heart insists on its destiny, resisting the general blandishment, then the agony is great; so too the danger. Forces, however, will have been set in motion beyond the reckoning of the senses. Sequences of events from the corners of the world will draw gradually together, and miracles of coincidence bring the inevitable to pass. ”
Joseph Campbell

"Maybe these are miracles. Maybe we don't have any experience with miracles so we're slow to recognize them."
From the Movie Grand Canyon

Not everyone is immediately aware of the power of synchronicity in their lives. I was having this conversation with my friend recently, who seemed a little stuck in her life and was having a hard time seeing where her own path was going. We talked a little more, and she acknowledged that there was one powerful event in her life that seemed to indicate some grander sense of design. This story truly knocked me out, and it really helped me better understand how the rhythm of synchronicity can exist for generations before truly clarifying itself properly.

In short, her father wanted her mother to have some company, and introduced her to a couple he had met while working in the National Guard. Over the years her mother stayed close with this family, and cut to generations later a member of this family had a daughter who is addicted to Heroin. A sad story made even sadder when my friend found out that she had a baby that she couldn’t take care of.

My friend was outraged. She wanted badly to have more children, but because of some health issues it simply wasn’t possible. Like many women who are given this news, she felt some anger towards women who have babies so easily and then seem to have very little interest in taking care of them. So an idea began to crystallize in her head, adoption. She would offer to adopt this child and give her a life her mother was clearly incapable of providing.

But none of this was in the cards. My friend returned home and slowly resigned herself to the fact that this was a child whose fate was out of her hands. Two years passed, and eventually she went back to her life. Then she heard something that devastated her. This woman had become pregnant again, but was no closer to beating her drug habit and providing any kind of safe environment for a child.

So my friend had her dark night of the soul. Once again an unwanted baby was somehow coming into the world, when she herself would do anything to have another one but couldn’t. In desperation she made a call, once again offering to adopt this child and provide a safe and caring home.

But time passed, and as the months went by my friend again resigned herself to the idea that this child’s fate was out of her control. Then, inexplicably, she had a dream. In her words,

“I was pregnant and gave birth to a baby, she wasn’t breathing so I had to give her CPR. This brought her instantly back to life. She hugged me and thanked me for saving her life. She told me without me she would have died. She told me her name was Zoey.”

The next morning she got a call. The woman had decided that my friend and her husband would make good parents and that she would like them to adopt her baby. She informed my friend that it was a girl. One month later my friend traveled to a drug treatment center to pick up her new little baby girl. Her name was Zoey.

There are so many amazing examples of synchronicity in this story it boggled my mind. What are the butterfly effects of a child being raised in a loving and safe home versus being raised by someone addicted to Heroin? How many lives will this little girl touch because of this story? How about the lives those people then go on to touch? Each life truly touches so many others. To me the implications of this are tremendous…

In the quote at the beginning of this entry there is a line from the movie Grand Canyon. In this scene a woman is trying to present the idea to her husband that all of the extraordinary things that have happened in their lives were miracles, and he responds “I'm getting a terrific headache.”

“No, you're not,” she replies
“I’m not”
“I'll tell you why I reject your headache”
“ Please”
“ Because it's inappropriate. If I am right and these events are miracles......then it is an inappropriate response to get a headache in the presence of a miracle.

This exchange kind of explains my response to people who doubt that this kind of thing happens in their lives. We get mired in our ruts, our self-pity, our gripes, complaints, and everyday drudgery, when really these amazing miracles are happening all around us. Somehow we just miss them though…Work, bills, chores, and whatever else eats up so much of our precious time.. But really, if we can cut through the fog and take a long, deep breath of each present moment, we may find there are wonderful opportunities to observe these things. That’s why I try and introduce myself to at least a few new strangers every day of my life. What do you have to lose? This person may not even give you a second glance, but on the other hand they may alter your world in some significant and meaningful way. I am convinced lightening can strike however. I’ve lived it, I’ve seen it, and I certainly saw a great deal of it in my friend’s wonderful story.